Being there - for someone else

It happened yesterday.
To someone ELSE!
I have to tell you I am so relieved it wasn't MY turn . . . again!
My youngest daughter text me from her bus yesterday afternoon.
She wanted to tell me something. I can't tell anyone. (So you're all sworn to secrecy).
A boy from her school had been calling, and calling her cell phone yesterday. She told him to stop. So he text her a picture of his butt.
"Mom, he's saying he didn't do it, that he left the picture at a friends house, and they had my number and they did it. But, " (and you don't know how hard it was for me not to make that a Butt), "I know he did."
She didn't know what to do.
I suggested we do one of several things.
1. Block his number from calling her anymore
2. Call his mom
3. Have ME call HIM and THREATEN to call his mom if he ever does this again to her or any of her friends

It had obviously made her uncomfortable, so I knew I needed to do something, but (heh heh) having three older teens I also know that mom's don't always need to be involved to get the message across.
I know the kids my daughter hangs out with, and yes, this guy at least used to be one of them. They're all pretty good kids. They come from good homes. A kids reaction to the ultimate threat of, "I'm going to tell you mom," IF they're good kids, will be devastating.
I was right.
We called the cell he'd used to call my daughter.
He didn't answer, but I told the person who did that I would call back.
Within minutes, my phone rang.
It was him.
My daughter watched me with her mouth wide open.
"This is the mother of the girl you sent the picture to, and I want you to know young man, if you ever send anything like this again, to her or any of her friends, I will personally call your mother and tell her what you've done."
Without a pause, he broke.
Their was NO story of the friend having done this. This guy who thought he was so smart was a mass of apology and promises NEVER to do this EVER to ANYONE again.
He kept going with apologies to my daughter's mortification who couldn't hear HIS end of the conversation.
MOM! JUST HANG UP!" she screamed from her seat, curled into a tight ball of embarrassment and discomfort. I felt he needed the soul cleansing apologies. It was the least I could do for him seeing how I'd struck terror in his middle school soul.
My daughter and I decided to block his number from calling her. It was as easy as dialing 611 from her cell phone and giving the phone company the number we wanted blocked. They cannot block text, but if that became a problem I would follow through on my threat to contact his mom.
We were very self satisfied, until my cell phone rang after dinner.
I had used my cell for the calls I made to the young guy.
It was his mother.
She wanted to know if I could talk.
The little guy had spilled his guts when she got home and she was equally mortified.
He's her oldest.
She was devastated.
MY oldest is 20, but she's a girl.
My SON is 18. "Hold onto your hat," I told her, "it's going to be a wild ride."
I know her mortification. Several times over.
I told her this.
I told her about the time my son got the whole family kicked off of AOL because he was in a chat room where he kept typing WTF . . . (WTF for you non techies stands for What the Fu . . .). I had to call someone at AOL and have his chat conversation read to me.
Then there was the time I found and read instant messages someone sent to my middle daughter telling her to touch herself in private places.
We changed her screen name.
That's the technical equivalent of packing up and moving.
"It's a tough world for a parent," I reassured her. "We're the first generation who can't learn from our parents, certainly NOT when it comes to the dangers our kids can get into in the cyber/technology world."
I told her how it's good this happened to my kid. I'm jaded by my older ones. Nothing shocks me anymore, but it's good it shocked him. If my daughter took the picture to the principal, this would have been more serious. He could be suspended for sexual harrassment. Maybe expelled. It was a great lesson for him. But there's no harm done.
"I just want you to know," she told me, "he's a really good kid."
"I know," I told her. "Mine are too. But being kids, and boys, sometimes means they're stupid. Besides, telling you proves it. He knows he can trust you. Be proud. I gave him the chance to not tell you."
Sometimes I think this is why my kids have made the mistakes they have, because I can use those experiences, to help other moms. We need to be there for each other. Our kids will grow up, they'll learn and they'll be okay. It's the moms that might not make it.
Not without each other anyway.