A Mom Vacation

I'm taking a vacation, without children.
My husband says this is what we've waited 18 years for. A chance to get away and leave all our cares behind.
HA!
How does a mom take a vacation where she leaves all her cares behind?
My husband says she packs a bag, gets on a plane with her husband, and checks into a hotel.
I say that's how a man takes a vacation.
We're supposed to leave Wednesday morning to go to the Bahamas with my sister-in-law and her husband.
See how I say supposed to?
Some inner core of my soul has still not committed.
We're leaving the kids at home alone.
At their request.
Don't poo your pants, my son IS 18.
My middle daughter is 16.
The baby is 13.
My oldest daugher is away at college, but she's only an hour away. She could get here if there as an emergency.
This is reasonable, isn't it?
Then why do I feel like I'm having a heart attack every morning when I wake up?
I lay in bed while horrible images of potential disasters run through my head.
I know they'll starve the cockatiels. With three in the cage, they need food twice a day, certainly every morning before the kids leave for school. Have you seen teenagers in the morning? There's no thought. They're ears don't work. The birds could miraculously shout their names and direct them to the food supply and no one will notice.
It starts there, and the list gets long.
Every time I hear the Chesapeake Bay Retriever drinking from the toilet I logically conclude, the dogs are out of water. No one else notices their five gallon water jug is empty, and NO ONE else hears her drink from the toilet. I'll be gone roughly six days? How long does it take a toilet bowl to drain? Will it refill itself?
If no one notices the animals, I can bet with a bookie that my plants will be dead.
They're in the sun, there's no way they're going to make it.
Those are living things that are important, but of course, nothing's more important to me then my own children.
Every time they have a fight I have to settle, I think, and what will happen when I'm in the Bahamas? Who's going to settle this fight? What will they do to each other? How can I best prepare them to handle things in my absence?
The truth is, if they don't have it by now, they won't get it. I leave in five days.
It will be a miracle if they make it.
If I make it.
If I get on the plane.
I don't know if my cell service will work. I won't know if they get to school on time. I won't know if they're happy? WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY'RE NOT HAPPY? WILL I SCAR THEM FOR LIFE?
Vacations aren't for wimpy mom's.
This seemed like such a good idea in June.
Now I'm terrified.
I'm stocking the house like I was preparing for a five month snow storm. They certainly won't run out of toilet paper or bagel bites.
I guess my biggest fear is that they won't get along.
That's how I tackle most extreme fears in life.
What is the worse case scenario?
They don't always get along when I'm home, so if my biggest fear is they won't get along when I'm not home, what's new?
Truth is, this is one of a parents biggest fears in life. Yet, not all siblings get along. It's not the end of the world.
It will be okay.
They will be okay.
I will be okay.
The world will not end.
After all, it's only a vacation, right?