Sometimes I think our generation has trouble parenting because we were sold a bad bill of goods.
While our parents fought in the background, or stumbled through their lives in an unattractive manner, we sat glued to Father Knows Best and/or The Brady Bunch. Television convinced us, if we kept our homes clean, wore the right clothes and most importantly, said the right things, we could be great parents and work out all the problems our kids could possibly face.
So imagine my sense of failure, when I'm unable to resolve my children's issues in 30 minutes or less.
I couldn't manage with my own series.
Seriously, my parents pushed, criticized, judged, labeled me and my sisters and basically did everything wrong. Amazingly, I grew up to be a functional member of society, albeit, with issues, but I got a college degree and had a career. I got married and had little Beavers of my own.
Now my children are growing up with issues of their own. How did that happen? Unlike my parents, I HAD June Cleaver leading by example. She showed me if I said the right thing, patted them on the back, and made dinner every night, my little Beavers would learn their lessons, get it right and go on to live happy lives.
No one told me that no matter what you do, each generation has to struggle. If you get things right at home, they'll struggle outside of the house. NO life is perfect, unless it's scripted and acted and edited into a perfectly fictional piece of art.
Ours is really the first generation that grew up with these surreal images we thought were promising us the hope of getting it right. There's no such thing as perfect. Perfection shouldn't even be in the dictionary unless it's examples are fiction, and Martha Stewart.
Look, I'm not saying anything bad about Martha. But when perfection personified goes to jail, women HAVE to stop a second and admit that it's a crime to even TRY to maintain those standards.
Let's let "good enough" replace "perfection" in our vocabularies, Mom's. We need to let our hair down and stop kicking ourselves in the butts for not living up to unrealistic standards.
Basically, I think if we can stay above Roseanne Barr, and below June Cleaver's standards, then we're doing pretty darn good. Besides, if I can't keep my house as clean as the women on Desperate Housewives, who NEVER spend time in their homes cleaning -- why do I think I can parent as well as a woman who wears pearls and cooks breakfast every morning?
I don't even know where my pearls are! Probably still at Tiffany's with a hefty price tag attached. All I have are pearls of wisdon, like relax, and know, all we can do is our best, and the rest we have to leave to the Beavers!